EZ Valentine's Day
by TotoMAK
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Ruby and Weiss have more than their fair share of problems finding gifts for each other.


"Gah!" A hit on her cheek woke her up. "Ruby you dolt!"

Ruby snorted a little, her eyes still slightly fatigued. "Wha-what is it, Weiss?"

"You punched me in your sleep!" Weiss shouted.

Ruby rolled over and pulled up the blankets. She held her own hand and scolded it. "Bad hand…" she mumbled under her breath.

"What a perfect way to start Valentine's Day…" Weiss mumbled irritably.

Ruby sat up quickly and gasped. "IT IS!" she flung herself on top of Weiss and snuggled in the crook of her neck. "Happy Valentine's day!"

"Ruby," Weiss mumbled. "Y-you're crushing me."

"Oh! Sorry!" Ruby said before giving Weiss a quick peck on the lips and rolling off her.

Once Ruby giddily landed on the floor, she put her hands on her hips confidently. "I have something planned for you~"

"Me too," Weiss faintly smiled, glad that her girlfriend didn't forget Valentine's day. "Now get out," she stated with no joking present.

"Ha," Ruby waved off. "Psh, good one!"

Weiss remained poker faced. "I mean it."

Ruby sniffled a bit with her best puppy eyes. "W-why?"

"I love you, but get the fuck out." Weiss said, throwing a red hoodie over Ruby's head and pulling it over her body before pointing to the door.

Ruby fumbled a bit with the clothing and pulled it over her waist. "No!" she yelped. "This is my room too!"

"Blake," Weiss called, clapping her hands twice.

Blake's cat ears flinched from the call and her body shot upright at the sound of Weiss' voice. She was fully dressed as she climbed out of her bed and walked toward her crimson leader. "On it."

"Wha-what're you-"

The faunus grabbed Ruby's red hood and dragged her forcefully out the door, with Ruby's high-pitched squeals in the distance before it slammed shut.

"HUH?!" Yang shrieked after the door slammed. "What the hell was that?!"

"Arf!" Zwei wagged his tail, happy that the day was already lively.

Weiss was too in the zone to respond to Yang or Zwei.

Weiss pulled out an apron that read, "your opinion is not in the recipe." After tying it around her waist, Yang jumped to the floor, a bit skeptical of what she was wearing.

"What's the occasion?"

"I'm making Ruby cookies for Valentine's Day." Weiss replied.

Yang snorted at the notion of Weiss in a kitchen. "You? In a kitchen? I thought you learned your lesson the first time."

"Hey," Weiss refuted. "That fire was ruled as accidental and you know it."

Yang laughed. "They banned you from ever going near a stove until you're 35."

"Arf, arf!" Zwei chimed.

"See?" Yang pointed. "Zwei backs me up on that."

"Well lucky for them, it's not a stove…" Weiss bent down and pulled out a contraption as big as a medium sized box and set it down on the bed. "It's an oven."

The faded and peeling red letters on the side spelled out 'E Bake Oven.' The 'Z' had clearly been long removed as a result of years of neglect.

Yang instantly recognized the device and her mouth dropped to the floor. "Is that Ruby and me's old EZ Bake Oven?"

"Yep." Weiss said proudly. "I had your father send it to me after I heard Ruby gushing about how great it was."

"Weiss, that thing is a death trap," the blonde said firmly. She held up her hand and pointed to her fingertips. "I have no fingerprints left on my right hand. That evil monster burned them off!"

"Hm," Weiss scoffed, thinking there were worse things. "Members of the Schnee family have their fingerprints burned off at a young age. That way no one can claim to be us. It's not that bad."

"Your family's so fucked up…" Yang muttered, deep in thought.

Weiss ignored Yang's comment in favor of setting up the oven.

"As I recall, the food wasn't even that good," Yang said, egging Weiss on. "And the cakes never cooked evenly on the one side…"

"You know what," Weiss whirled around to face Yang and pointed to her apron that read. 'your opinion isn't in the recipe.'

Yang laughed triumphantly and pointed to her own apron around her chest. It read 'they see me rollin', they hatin'" all under a picture of a rolling pin.

"What the…" Weiss murmured. "Where and when did you get that? D-did you just have that ready?"

"Yep," Yang smirked. "Mama's always prepared."

Weiss' head tilted to the side ever so slightly. "That is disturbing on so many levels…"

* * *

"Blake!" Ruby screeched. "What're you doing?! Why's Weiss so mean to me?! And on Valentine's day!?"

"Quiet, young one," Blake replied in a soft tone. "Let's go get your love a gift."

Ruby pouted, knowing her friend was babying her. "Blake! I'm not a kiiiiiiiiid!" she stomped her feet on the ground as if she was having a temper tantrum.

Blake frowned, not liking Ruby's attitude. "Do you want Weiss to have a good Valentine's gift?"

Ruby sniffled a bit, her eyes meeting Blake's determined ones. "More than anything."

The faunus smirked, knowing Ruby would like her plan. "Then come with me without a fight. Trust me, the present will be thoughtful, and we can add your idea to it."

As Blake grabbed Ruby's hand and dragged her in the streets of Vale, she decided not argue any longer.

"Fine," Ruby mumbled under her breath. "But next year, no surprises! And no teaming up against me."

"You got it," Blake smiled.

* * *

"If you're going to stare, you might as well help!" Weiss exclaimed.

"Oh no," Yang said with a grin. "This is way too much fun. Watching you struggle is better than cable."

Weiss tampered with the wannabe oven trying to figure out how to turn it on. Yang watched as Weiss amusingly fumbled with the contraption. Meanwhile, Zwei nuzzled his neck against Weiss' legs to provide comfort, but it didn't help the distressed girl.

"You know, there is no button to turn it on," Yang remarked. "You just plug it in."

"What the hell?" Weiss recoiled. "What kind of ancient abomination is this? How am I supposed to regulate the temperature?"

"The remains of every child's dream," Yang answered with a laugh. "And you don't."

"Stupid children and their useless cooking methods…" Weiss mumbled.

"Arf!"

Weiss bent down to pet the dog. "You agree~"

"Damn Weiss, that's _cold_ ," Yang chided. "...Weiss cold."

"Oh hardy fucking har," Weiss said as she mixed the small dish of batter. "Like I haven't heard that one a million times before."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No."

"Huh," the blonde wasn't surprised from the answer. "Well, you should probably get to work. I don't know how long Blake can distract Ruby."

Weiss hesitantly looked at the mini oven. "How do you heat this thing up anyways?"

"It's a little lightbulb inside." Yang replied.

Weiss' face twisted in confusion. "Wha… are you serious? How does that even work?"

"You'd be surprised," Yang said. "That shit could melt steel."

"You must be joking," she replied. "I was just going to light the thing on fire."

Yang snickered. "What is it with you and lighting things on fire?"

"It's not on purpose!" Weiss refuted. "Besides, you scorched Blake's clothes a few months ago. So don't give me that."

"H-how'd you know that was me!?"

"I didn't," Weiss smirked. "But now I do."

* * *

"Are you happy?" Blake asked Ruby.

Ruby took another bite of her ice cream. "Yep!"

"Did you get one for Weiss?"

"Oh yeah," Ruby said. "That's kinda the reason we came here."

The faunus sighed. "Go get her the vanilla sorbet."

"Aye, aye!" Ruby mocked a salute and got in line.

"I swear…" Blake murmured. "It's just like watching a child."

* * *

Weiss opened the door on the EZ bake oven, only to be engulfed in a black smoke. She waved her hand over her face while coughing.

"You alive?" Yang asked with amusement.

Anger stirred within Weiss. After the tenth attempt, she slammed the door shut and spouted obscenities.

"Chill out, ice queen," Yang warned.

"No!" Weiss shouted. "How on Remnant did you and Ruby handle this thing?"

" _Easy_ ," the blonde grinned and strolled over. "Do you want my opinion in the recipe now?"

Weiss sighed. "Not like I have a choice."

Yang shrugged. "That's as good as it's gonna get."

While grinning, she put her hand on top of the oven. After channeling her aura out of her palm, the oven started to heat up a bit.

Weiss noticed this. "Don't heat it up too much."

"Yeah, yeah," Yang waved off. "I got this, princess."

Weiss glowered at the blonde. "Quiet, brute, or do you want me to freeze you?"

"We both know that's an empty threat," the blonde smirked mischievously.

Weiss noticed the EZ bake started to emit smoke and fumes from the top. "Stop!" she yelped. "The cookies will be burnt to a crisp!"

Yang yanked her hand off the oven, but it soon caught on fire. She sent Weiss a pitiful smile.

"Uhhhh… nailed it?"

Weiss' eye twitched as she held her hand out. Before the smoke detectors could go off, she froze the oven over with her aura.

The two stood there in silence.

Yang blinked. "Wanna try again?"

"No!" Weiss fumed. "Fuck this. Fuck you, and FUCK EVERYTHING!" she picked up the mini oven and threw it on the ground, the ice shattering along with the oven. She then smashed the remains with her foot.

All the while, Zwei was whimpering from the display.

Yang rushed over and pushed her away. "Hey! That's me and Rube's toy! Go smash your own!"

Weiss gained the proper footing after the shove. "Maybe I will!" she yelled as she walked out of the room and slammed the door.

"Holy shit…" Yang muttered. "I think that was too… EZ." she knelt down beside the crushed oven and stroked its broken plastic side. "Looks like you won that battle."

Yang heard Zwei's whimpering, so she pet the dog lovingly. "It's okay," she cooed. "The evil monster is gone."

* * *

Ruby and Blake wandered through the floral shop. Ruby knew Weiss had an affinity for flowers, so she figured it was the perfect gift.

"That one!" Ruby pointed at the flowers. "She'll love it!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "It _is_ your last name."

"Exactly!" Ruby chirped.

"Just grab it already," the faunus suggested. "We should head back soon."

Ruby took the rose and bolted out the door, far too gone to hear the buzzers of security.

"MISS!" A man ran outside to give chase. "YOU DIDN'T BUY THAT FLOWER!"

Blake facepalmed as she held her arm out and stopped the shopkeeper. "Ugh, don't worry, I'll buy it."

After handing the man her money, Blake sprinted to her friend, who was already far ahead. Blake picked up the pace and finally caught up to her.

"Ruby!" Blake chided. "You didn't even pay for that!"

Ruby held up the rose. "Ehehe, my bad. I'm just so excited!"

* * *

Weiss furiously knocked on JNPR's door across the hall.

"JAUNE, NORA, PYRRHA, REN!" she shouted. "OPEN UP!"

It wasn't long before the door creaked open slowly, the person inside was obviously hesitant.

Weiss caught a glimpse of orange hair. "Nora, I need your help!"

Nora happily smiled and opened the door, exposing the entirety of the room and Ren in the background. "Sure! What do you need?"

"Great! I need-" Weiss said before Nora pressed a single finger to her lips.

"Lemme guess," Nora said. "You're making Ruby cookies for Valentine's Day. You legally aren't allowed to use an oven until you're 35, so you decided to use a two decade old EZ Bake Oven in order to do it. But, you found out you couldn't and raged out, destroying the oven before coming over here which brings us to where we are now, right?"

Weiss' mouth hung open as she nodded her head. "Um… yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Right," Nora nodded before motioning to Ren, who was sitting on his bed. "REN. WE HAVE A CODE SLOTH. WE NEED COOKIE SUPPLIES, STAT!"

Ren raised his hand to his forehead and gave her a salute. "On it, Nora."

Nora walked out into the hallway with Weiss. "Don't worry, we'll help you!"

She sighed with relief. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"No problem!" Nora said as she slapped Weiss on the back. "We'd be glad to help, right Ren?"

Ren walked back into view with an armful of supplies. "Yeah, of course!"

"So uhhhh," Weiss hummed. "Do you have any idea where we can find an oven?"

Nora grinned slyly. "Yeah, don't worry about that. Just follow me."

She started down the hallway and Ren and Weiss followed soon after.

* * *

Ruby ran as fast as he legs could carry her, so fast that her vision blurred. Blake had told her not to run, but she was too excited to take her time walking.

She thought she saw a big red blob approaching quickly from out of her peripheral vision. However, even with her near-supersonic speed, she didn't have time to react as the red blob smashed directly into her, sending the leader of team RWBY tumbling down the sidewalk like a ragdoll.

There was a ringing in her ears and her vision went white. It took a few seconds before she could hear anything properly, and when she did, she heard a whiny male voice calling her name.

"Ruby!" the voice said. "Ruby, are you okay?"

"Ughhhh," she groaned as she came to. "Did I hit a brick wall or something?"

Her vision soon came into focus, and she saw a blonde figure standing over her. She instantly recognized the scraggly figure as Jaune.

"Yeah, sorta,," he said. "You ran into Pyrrha."

"Excuse me?!" Pyrrha yelped. "How am I like a brick wall?"

"I said 'sorta!'" Jaune tried to justify. "And besides, it's no secret that you're all muscle-y and have a tendency to stop traffic."

A blush crept on Pyrrha's cheeks as she shoved his shoulder playfully. "Oh, stop it you."

"Did we uhhhh…" Blake interjected. "Interrupt your date?"

"No, it's fine," Pyrrha replied. "We were just...on our way back to Beacon to uh...study."

"For what?" Ruby asked. "We don't have any tests coming up."

Blake, catching on to the situation, quickly tried to change the subject.

"Ruby!" she exclaimed. "Weiss' stuff!"

Ruby quickly reached behind her and returned with the sorbet and the flower, both in pristine condition.

"All good!" Ruby said, giving Blake a thumbs up.

"Good," Blake sighed in relief.

"Is that your gift for Weiss?" Jaune asked with curiosity.

"Yep!" Ruby beamed. "Hopefully she'll like it."

Pyrrha smiled. "She definitely will. Now we must be going."

Jaune put his hand around Pyrrha's waist. "Seeya guys later. You have nothing to worry about, Ruby."

"Thanks guys," she smiled.

* * *

Nora and Ren had brought Weiss to their "private kitchen", which was more or less, a janitor's closet with an oven in the back.

When they walked inside, Weiss sat some of the supplies that she had taken from Ren down on one of the shelves and Nora immediately scolded her.

"Don't set that there, that's where they store the bleach and pinesol."

Weiss scrambled to pick up what she'd set down. "Why would you use a janitor's closet as a kitchen in the first place?"

"Because we've been banned from the kitchen for nearly setting the school on fire." Ren said with a sigh.

"Really?" Weiss asked. "How'd that happen?"

"We just wanted pancakes!" Nora said as she set the cookie sheet on top of the stove.

Ren sighed again. "Nora tried to make pancakes using every oven in the kitchen."

"I REALLY wanted pancakes…" Nora sadly said.

The trio quickly got to work, mixing the dough while heating up the oven. Once everything was set, Nora happily scooped the cookie dough onto the metal sheet and slid it into the oven.

"There we go!" she triumphantly raised her fist into the air. "Cookies are in the oven!"

"Thanks, guys," Weiss said. "I really can't thank you enough for helping me like this."

Ren smiled. "It's our pleasure."

"Now Ren and I are going to clean up these dishes," Nora stated. "Do you think you can watch the oven while we're gone? It won't take long for those babies to cook."

"Yeah, it's no problem!" Weiss replied. "I can look after it."

"Okay, good! Just take it out once the timer dings!" Nora gathered up the mixing bowls and dirty utensils and headed back outside with Ren.

The pair headed to the empty science room next door and used the sink to clean the dishes. It didn't take long for them to finish, and they were soon heading back to Weiss and their secret oven. However, the air was filled with the stench of burning chocolate chip cookies.

"Uh oh," Ren said before Nora opened the door and was blasted in the face with a wall of smoke.

The two of them were coughing up a storm, waving the putrid smoke away from their faces when they caught sight of Weiss slowly walking out of the room, with what looked like a platter of charred black turds.

* * *

Ruby and Blake had finally made it to their dorm room. Once Blake twisted the knob, Ruby announced.

"We're back!"

The faunus' cat ears flicked at Yang's cheery greeting and Zwei's excited barks.

Ruby bent down to pet the dog. "Aw are you happy to see me, boy?"

Blake sniffed the air. "Why does it smell like something died?"

"Oh," Yang pitifully laughed. "About that…"

Ruby shook Yang's shoulders. "What is it?!"

"Nothing!" Yang replied. "You're just going to have to wait. I have a feeling it won't be long."

Ruby looked around. "Where's Weiss?"

"She'll be back soon," the blonde informed. "Maybe…"

The door flew open. Once Weiss saw Ruby, she hid the plate behind her back. "You're back!"

Weiss was covered head to toe in black soot and her head drooped. "I...I tried to make you something for Valentine's Day…"

"Great!" Ruby said with her hands behind her back. "I have something for you too! Let's exchange on three!"

"Ruby I don't-"

"One!" Ruby counted down.

"Please, Ruby," Weiss tried to say. "I really-"

"Two!"

"Ruby!"

"THREE!" Ruby exclaimed as she held out her presents in front of her.

Without thought, Weiss also held out her creation.

They both gazed at the gifts with bewilderment.

"What… what is that?" Ruby said with confusion.

Weiss sighed heavily. "I tried to make you… uh…brownies."

"Oh cool!" Ruby chirped. "They sure look like brownies!"

Weiss sighed. "They do, don't they?"

Ruby giggled a bit. "I can't wait to try them."

"What're those?" Weiss asked with amusement.

It wasn't until now that Ruby had realized that Weiss' sorbet had almost completely melted on the way back to their dorm. The rose had also bent a little from being slammed into Pyrrha.

"Oh uh," Ruby nervously rubbed the back of her head, trying to think of an excuse "This is a milkshake."

"In a bowl?" Weiss asked.

"Hehehe," Ruby nervously chuckled. "A poor milkshake."

All Yang and Blake did was watch the conversation in amusement.

"Well...can I have one?" Ruby asked.

"Uh, yeah," Weiss held out her platter of black cookies.

Ruby handed Weiss the "milkshake" and took a "brownie" from the platter. She examined the charred piece of blackness and shrugged before taking a bite.

Weiss cringed as she heard Ruby crunch into the cookie. She waited for Ruby to recoil in disgust, but what she heard instead surprised her.

"Mmmm!" Ruby said as she gnawed on the cookie like a dog with a bone. "It's great!"

"Ruby, you don't have to lie," Weiss said with a slight, sad laugh. "They're bad and you know it."

Ruby spat the cookie back out onto the napkin laughed nervously. "Yeah, it is pretty bad."

Weiss took a sip from her "milkshake." Her face scrunched up and she gagged. "I take it this isn't really a milkshake?"

"It… was supposed to be vanilla sorbet… and this is a bent rose..."

The two looked down at their gifts and then at each other, they couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Wow," Yang chimed. "You guys suck at this romance thing."

"Yeah, I guess we do," Ruby laughed.

Weiss sighed. "But it's the thought that counts, right?"

Ruby walked toward Weiss and brushed the soot away from her girlfriend's mouth. "Right."

Weiss was only slightly unprepared when Ruby locked her lips around her own and brought her in for a long, loving kiss.

"Ummm," Yang said. "You guys know we're still here, right?"

Weiss broke away from Ruby's kiss and glared at Yang. "How could we forget?"

"Hm!" Ruby hummed as she turned toward her sister. "You can't stop us from cuddling!"

Yang playfully rolled her eyes as she watched Weiss and Ruby wrap each other in a warm, loving hug.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Ruby whispered.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ruby." Weiss replied.

* * *

After everyone went to sleep, Weiss headed for Ren and Nora's secret kitchen. She stared at the oven with a menacing glare.

"What?" she asked it.

The oven sat there, but Weiss saw it as a challenge.

"Don't look at me like that."

The oven did nothing.

"I bet I can beat you this time."

She received no response. With a nod of victory, she strolled over and started to fumble with the buttons.

"...and this … and this…"

She pressed a few more furiously, and then the machine beeped a few times.

"Okay," she said. "Now wh-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the oven exploded, sending black smoke and fumes throughout the room. The shockwaves practically shook the building.

She coughed a few times, waving her hand over her mouth. "Why? Why can't I win against it!?"

The door flew open with a frantic Nora. "Weiss?! What the hell are you doing here!?"

The room and Weiss were covered in black soot. The stove was practically nonexistent as she stood there in a shocked daze.

Weiss tried to dust the dirt off her pajamas. "I'm done," she glanced back at the oven. "You win."

Nora shook her head. "What is is with you and ovens?"

* * *

 **Lotta more fluffy stories comin' your way, baby.**

 **Toto: a little somethin' somethin' to lighten up the atmosphere from canon. Hope you liked it and come onnnnn, the canon is just getting BETTER! Yeah, what he said.**

 **MAK: Happy Valentine's Day! We're going to be posting a lot of new stories from here on out! And yeah, what she said!**


End file.
